Shopping and sh*t

I’m a little bit drunk. But that’s okay. We’re celebrating a very good weekend.

  1. We got our social security numbers
  2. We got the keys to our new home
  3. I found Macys
  4. I’ve spent most of the weekend shopping*

The caveat to number four is that, when I say most of the weekend, I really only mean Friday and Saturday (Friday can count as a weekend day when you haven’t got a proper job, right?).

This is because, in Bergen County, all shops are closed on a Sunday. Every single one.

There is a law (that only applies to Bergen County, of course. The county that I live in, of course) that doesn’t let you buy clothes – and lumber, by the way – on Sundays. You can buy anything else, but not clothes.

Why that meant that Ikea had to be closed today simply bemuses me. I was incredibly excited at the thought of buying ‘bits’.

Not anything of any importance of course – that was taken care of by online shopping and will be being delivered throughout the week.

This, by the way, is making me literally wet myself with excitement – like the run up to Christmas kind of excited. In fact, it’s better than Christmas because this is dragged out over a whole week!

But anyway. Not that stuff. No, this is the really good stuff. You know what I mean. The stuff you didn’t even know you needed until you saw it in one of the mocked up rooms, or one of the white mesh baskets.

I’m talking about:

  • the jam-jar (jelly-jar?) shaped drink glasses
  • the lamps made out of paper
  • the utensils pot
  • the toothbrush holder
  • the plastic carrier bag bin
  • the paper towel holder

Now THESE are the things that make a home.

So. Short story – the Ikea trip happens tomorrow.

What I CAN talk about is the wonder that is Macys.


That is the sound of an angel light coming down and shining on me as I stand with upturned hands, gazing at the wonder that is designer handbags and beautiful furnishings.

I discovered Macys in Westfield shopping centre. We have these in the UK and, from what I can gather, they are almost identical whether you hit a UK or a US Westfield. With the exception of Macys*.

*For the benefit of my American friends, there are two shopping bags that you want to go back to the UK with when you go to NY as a teenager. One is the classic Little Brown Bag, the other is a Macys bag. Thank ‘Friends’ for this obsession.

Anyway. We found Macys. And we actually brought our bed linen from there…

*Quick story about bed linen. This is ridiculously confusing compared to buying UK bed linen. So you buy a comforter. But depending on the type of comforter you buy, sometimes this needs a cover, but more often than not, it doesn’t. It’s like a ready-covered duvet. I think it’s pretty marvellous actually. But not if you brought a plain, boring comforter that actually needs a cover and now need to try and find one. It gets pretty tricky, and sometimes it’s called a duvet cover and sometimes a comforter cover. And you also have pillow cases, but then you have shams which are pillow cases with the large frills around them. And also, you can buy standard/Queen size pillow cases/shams, and also King size. So, if you have a King size bed, and need King size sheets but have Standard size pillows…. GOOD LUCK! You cannot buy a sheet set, oh no!

Anyway, back to Macys. We found our duvet cover, our sheets, our shams and our pillow cases. I was loving life. We were about to head to the glassware section.

And BC’s nappy literally exploded. In Macys. All over the floor.

I shit you not.

She did. I don’t.

Of all the places!

She didn’t care. To be honest, i think she felt so much better afterwards that she was ready to be on her merry way in no time.

And I had to find a restroom.


So, my first Macys experience ending up being a pile of poo.

Despite that, this afternoon I received a 15% discount code for signing up to their mailing list. I thought that was awesome until I read the T&Cs as to what you can use it on. And this is the list:

*TO GET EXTRA SAVINGS: Place qualifying items in shopping bag, then enter your single–use promo code in the box labeled “HAVE A PROMO CODE?” and click “APPLY.” You can enter the promo code in your shopping bag at any time before or during checkout. Only one promo code may be used per transaction. EXTRA 15% OFF sale & clearance–priced clothing & handbags, including select women’s Impulse clothing, with exclusions listed. EXTRA 15% OFF sale & clearance–priced jewelry, watches, women’s swimwear, coats, suits, dresses, lingerie, men’s suit separates & sport coats, select shoes & home items, with exclusions listed. EXCLUDES: cosmetics & fragrances, Deals of the Day, electrics & electronics, Everyday Values, furniture & mattresses, rugs, specials, super buys, web busters, Beats by Dr. Dre, Breville, Dallas Cowboys merchandise, Destination Maternity, Dyson, Fitbit, Frye, Hanky Panky, Jack Spade, Kate Spade, KitchenAid Pro Line, Le Creuset, Levi’s, Marc Jacobs, Melissa McCarthy Seven7, Michele watches, New Era caps & headwear, Nike on Field, Sam Edelman, Samsung watches, Shun, Stuart Weitzman, Sunglass Hut, Tempur–Pedic, The North Face, Theory, Tumi, Vitamix, Wacoal, Wolford, Wüsthof, athletic clothing, athletic shoes, athletic accessories, designer jewelry, Gift Cards, jewelry trunk shows, maternity, payment on credit accounts, previous purchases, select licensed departments, services, special orders, special purchases, tech watches, toys. EXCLUDED ONLINE ONLY: baby gear, kids’ shoes, All–Clad, Allen Edmonds, Birkenstock, Cole Haan for him, Hurley, J.A. Henckels, Johnston & Murphy, Merrell, RVCA, Tommy Bahama. Extra savings % applied to reduced prices. Extra savings end October 6, 2016

In case you couldn’t be bothered to read through all that, in a nutshell, I’m struggling to find a department it DOES apply to.

Probably bed linen. But I’m sorted for that.







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